Category Archives: Matchmaking

Valentine’s Day:No Couples Allowed

Valentine’s Day. It’s impending. Le Sigh. Personally, as a matchmaker, I dread it. I love giving pep talks and helping people make sense of why they are single, but jeez V-Day! Why you gotta be so rude to single people?!

Yeah, being single is tough sometimes. Seeing all those online dating commercials and cheesy jewelry adds on television only makes you want to give that chubby, flying, arrow casting cherub we call Cupid a big fat middle finger. What I hate about Valentine’s Day advertising is that it’s designed to make single people feel like they can only celebrate if they have a sweetheart. There is nothing worse than capitalizing on people’s heartache.

In that spirit, I wanted to give my cherished singles community a reason to celebrate… Enjoy not having to scramble to get a reservation and pay double for a fancy-pants dinner! Enjoy not getting a tacky stuffed animal, silk boxers, chocolate covered cherries, or worse, a heart shaped pendant and earring set! Dudes! Enjoy not having to pack yourself into a movie theater to watch the latest Zach Efron      rom-com! Ladies! Enjoy not having to drop a load of money to get plucked, waxed, painted, and stuffed into control top pantyhose and stilettos!!

Make this Valentine’s Day a celebration of everything you enjoy about being single. Throw a pajama party with your girlfriends. Go to a sports bar and have beers and wings with the guys. If you have a widowed grandparent, take them out for dessert and coffee. Throw a Love Gone Loco movie night with friends and watch Fatal Attraction, What’s Love Got to do with it, Fear, or The Crush. Go do this: http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/. Whatever you choose to do, don’t stay at home feeling sorry for yourself.

Don't be this person on Valentine's Day.

Don’t be this person on Valentine’s Day.

Being single should be fun. It should be a positive experience. Use this time of your life to meet as many people as possible; when you are single you can re-discover yourself and what kind of person you really want to bring into your life. If you really are down on being alone and frustrated that online dating is a crapshoot, that many dating services are too damn expensive, and that you’d sooner die alone than go to another speed dating event: It’s time that you thought seriously about working with a matchmaker. Not just any matchmaker, the BEST matchmaker. TheRealMatchmaker.com

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!!

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Top 5 ways to get a smooch by the end your first date!

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Let’s start at the very beginning.   Show up on time! Showing up on time begins with the choices you make leading up to your date; prioritize the date and avoid planning important work meetings, family gatherings, your appointment to the DMV, etc.  before your date. You don’t want to start off apologizing, do you? Showing up on time helps to gain trust… Did you know that trust is the #1 quality singles list as a requirement in a partner?

Now that you arrived on time, say something nice. Keep it short and sweet with  something like: “ You look wonderful! “,”You smell great!”,” I really like your hair that way.”,” You did a great job planning this date! “,Hey there, handsome!”…The saying flattery will get you everywhere really means something.  Going on a date makes you vulnerable, so validating that you like what you see and that you are happy to be on the date will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Be positive. Don’t get upset if you can’t find a parking spot or if you find a hair in your french fries. The way that you treat other people and react to the unexpected reveals a lot about who you are as a person.  No one wants to be in a relationship a with loose cannon! Embrace your inner optimist! When the environment is fun and lighthearted, your date will see you the same way.

Be curious about your date. Ask them genuine questions about their hobbies, interests, and things that they are likely happy or proud of in their life.  Just don’t ask about exes or their dating life! When you share things about your life with someone, you begin to build a bond.  Make sure that bond is built on your secret love of disco music, not that you both had to file a restraining order on your ex.

Wrap it up with a bow.  Pay for her valet, hail her a cab, or offer to walk her to her car. Ladies, you can also make this easier by taking him up on the offer!  When you make sure that your date is on her journey home safely it shows that you care about her well-being.  From there, go in for the smooch! She’ll be glad that you did!

Want to date real quality people more often? Email The Real Matchmakers at info@therealmatchmaker.com and tell us a little about yourself!

Before You Join That Dating Service…

There are tons of dating services out there, and all of them come with a hard sell and promises of finding you your one true love. I know that there are plenty of services out there that truly have the best intentions of uniting you with your soul mate. And then there are a handful of shady companies/would-be matchmakers that are in it solely for the money.  So what exactly is a “good dating service”?

A good dating service will provide a viable way of making the dating process easier for you by facilitating actual contact via phone or in-person dates with your selected matches. There should also be an option for coaching and guidance through the process.  Most importantly, the company/matchmaker will be proactive about finding matches specifically for you, not just relying on their marketing to bring in appropriate matches.  Before you sign up for a service you should be sure that you have a clear understanding of how the company fulfills these three components. Trust me.

Once you have established that the company isn’t run by Cruella DeVille, you must know that you have a part in making the service work for you. Joining a gym doesn’t make you skinny (darn.) If you are not willing understand and take the following advice, you might as well flush that money down the toilet. Better yet, spend it on a therapist or donate it to a charity.

Don’t expect that because you pay for a service, that your matchmaker will be able to hook you up with someone exponentially better than what you could find on your own. A matchmaker is there to weed out weirdos  gold diggers, players, black widows, and con-artists. It’s likely that the people you are matched with have high expectations too, so if your matchmaker is honest you are going to date in your league. Granted, the likelihood of getting in front of a model or a millionaire is higher, but it still doesn’t mean that they will actually go for you if you don’t measure up.  Fortunately, this advice doesn’t apply to most people I have worked with, but then there is this guy, so yeah.

Ever heard the saying, you get more bees with honey? It’s true, especially when it comes to your matchmaker.  If you invest a lot of money in your service, you have better odds of getting the most out of it if you treat your matchmaker well. Unfortunately we can’t wave a magic wand to make your dreams come true… although we do a lot of back flips, sweet talking, and haystack sifting on your behalf. Make yourself available (don’t make me call you more than twice to set up your date!!), be receptive to their advice, and be open-minded about the matches they come up with for you.  Thank them and let them know when your date goes well or tell them what they have really helped you with. This is more than just customer service; it is a personal-professional relationship, so create a friendship with your love guru! If your matchmaker likes you, you are almost guaranteed more dates than you paid for. Think of it this way, would you want to set up your unreliable, judgmental, fault finding boss up with your sweet, funny, good-looking best friend? Exactly.

Being a psychic is not synonymous with being a matchmaker. Those clairvoyants get pissy when we take liberties with predicting the future, so don’t expect your matchmaker to read your mind, or anticipate your every need.  If you don’t feel like you are on the same page, then communicate as you go along and avoid an epic meltdown. Just be candid and constructive. If you have a matchmaker that cares, she will listen to you and lend some suggestions on what you both can do to make you feel more satisfied. Everyone wins when your matchmaker has your best interests at heart.  Your mind set going into your dates should be 110% positive, so if you are harboring resentment or don’t trust your matchmaker the date will most likely fall flat.

Always be kind and considerate to your date-even if they are not remotely what you are looking for. Make the best of it.  End of story.