Before You Join That Dating Service…

There are tons of dating services out there, and all of them come with a hard sell and promises of finding you your one true love. I know that there are plenty of services out there that truly have the best intentions of uniting you with your soul mate. And then there are a handful of shady companies/would-be matchmakers that are in it solely for the money.  So what exactly is a “good dating service”?

A good dating service will provide a viable way of making the dating process easier for you by facilitating actual contact via phone or in-person dates with your selected matches. There should also be an option for coaching and guidance through the process.  Most importantly, the company/matchmaker will be proactive about finding matches specifically for you, not just relying on their marketing to bring in appropriate matches.  Before you sign up for a service you should be sure that you have a clear understanding of how the company fulfills these three components. Trust me.

Once you have established that the company isn’t run by Cruella DeVille, you must know that you have a part in making the service work for you. Joining a gym doesn’t make you skinny (darn.) If you are not willing understand and take the following advice, you might as well flush that money down the toilet. Better yet, spend it on a therapist or donate it to a charity.

Don’t expect that because you pay for a service, that your matchmaker will be able to hook you up with someone exponentially better than what you could find on your own. A matchmaker is there to weed out weirdos  gold diggers, players, black widows, and con-artists. It’s likely that the people you are matched with have high expectations too, so if your matchmaker is honest you are going to date in your league. Granted, the likelihood of getting in front of a model or a millionaire is higher, but it still doesn’t mean that they will actually go for you if you don’t measure up.  Fortunately, this advice doesn’t apply to most people I have worked with, but then there is this guy, so yeah.

Ever heard the saying, you get more bees with honey? It’s true, especially when it comes to your matchmaker.  If you invest a lot of money in your service, you have better odds of getting the most out of it if you treat your matchmaker well. Unfortunately we can’t wave a magic wand to make your dreams come true… although we do a lot of back flips, sweet talking, and haystack sifting on your behalf. Make yourself available (don’t make me call you more than twice to set up your date!!), be receptive to their advice, and be open-minded about the matches they come up with for you.  Thank them and let them know when your date goes well or tell them what they have really helped you with. This is more than just customer service; it is a personal-professional relationship, so create a friendship with your love guru! If your matchmaker likes you, you are almost guaranteed more dates than you paid for. Think of it this way, would you want to set up your unreliable, judgmental, fault finding boss up with your sweet, funny, good-looking best friend? Exactly.

Being a psychic is not synonymous with being a matchmaker. Those clairvoyants get pissy when we take liberties with predicting the future, so don’t expect your matchmaker to read your mind, or anticipate your every need.  If you don’t feel like you are on the same page, then communicate as you go along and avoid an epic meltdown. Just be candid and constructive. If you have a matchmaker that cares, she will listen to you and lend some suggestions on what you both can do to make you feel more satisfied. Everyone wins when your matchmaker has your best interests at heart.  Your mind set going into your dates should be 110% positive, so if you are harboring resentment or don’t trust your matchmaker the date will most likely fall flat.

Always be kind and considerate to your date-even if they are not remotely what you are looking for. Make the best of it.  End of story.

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