This afternoon I was talking to a client of mine who has a bit of a luxury problem on her hands. You see, Catherine is dynamic, friendly, easy-going, and guys just seem to flock to her. Right now I have her on follow up dates with about 4 guys. Yup, FOUR. Now, if I seem like I am tooting my own horn, I am. I kid, I kid! Four people to go out on follow up dates with is not always typical. But seriously, I would date her too if I was a.)single, and b.)not boy crazy.
Since Catherine is taking her time to enjoy her freedom as a single woman, she wanted some advice on how to keep things from getting too hot and heavy before she is ready. This can be tricky, especially when you are feeling a lot of physical attraction. I am by no means a prude, but I definitely advise keeping the physical PG until you are sure that you are ready to be exclusive. I’ll talk about booty call etiquette later, I promise!
When going out with someone that has potential to be your partner emotions can run high. Despite our rational and how in control of our emotions we think we are, moving past kissing too soon will activate your hormones. You can run the risk of getting into a relationship with someone that isn’t a good fit for the long haul because your connection is purely physical.
Here are some tips on how to pace your physical relationship with your latest love interest:
- Keep your activities public . A full-on make out sesh is not a visual gift to the world. Cooking dinner for each other and watching a movie can make it too easy to give into temptation
- Communicate. If the person you are dating is too enthusiastic about getting physical let them know in a gentle way that you want to take things slow. You can something like “I really like spending time with you and you are so much fun to kiss, but I think it would be a good idea to take things slower so that we can get to know each other more. It would be a shame if we ended up getting hurt by rushing things.”
- Rest assured the the person you are dating will be patient if they are serious about you. If the person bails because you don’t feel comfortable taking things to the next level, you dodged a bullet. Never attempt using sex as a way to secure an exclusive relationship!
- Once you think you are ready to go exclusive, make a point to open a dialogue about the future intentions. If you are both on the same page about dating exclusively your experience will be that much more exciting. You won’t have to worry about your date pulling a Houdini.
Kissing, holding hands, cuddling are ways that you can establish that you are more than just friends, so don’t feel guilty about smooching a little. You’ve got to know if there is sexual chemistry before you decide that you want to take yourself off the market!